

Shortly after the Urban Sketchers Symposium was over, while I was still in Lisbon and haggling with a guy from Turkmenistan who had been supposed to send me the letter of introduction I would need to get the visa by July 26 but hadn’t, I realised that trying to organise the part of my travels that were supposed to go through Central Asia while already traveling was not such a great idea. It would mean worrying too much about money, visas, time and my passport in other people’s hands, and keep me from enjoying the journey before reaching Central Asia. So I cancelled. I did not actually get any money back, nor did that LOI ever reach me, and I still really want to go, but it has to wait for another year. Better planning, more time…

There have been several effects of this loosening of my itinerary. The first is that all the plans that I do make now seem to be even more fickle. They tend to change from day to day, sometimes from hour to hour, and are very responsive to chance influences – things I overhear people say, postcards I see, things I read accidentally etc. This is a bit of a problem for organising accommodation, though, especially as Scotland turned out to be more expensive than I expected and I’ve been mostly hitchhiking and couchsurfing since.

The second is that sometimes I’m getting scared, like I’m in free fall and don’t know when and how I will hit bottom. There isn’t much to hang on to, no routine to speak of, I barely spend more than two nights in the same place. For as long as I can remember I’ve always had a plan, and for years a cherished daily routine. Now I’ve taken that away, and sometimes the lack of plan and routine makes me panic.

On bad days I feel like I can hear my money steadily burning in the background, and my lack of income and absence of a job lined up when I come home add a very real dimension to that feeling of free fall. On those bad days I can’t understand how on earth I came up with this stupid travel idea instead of spending this precious time before my savings run out at home job hunting. Naturally, on bad days traveling doesn’t even appear to be very enjoyable, and therefore not worth it at all. On one such day I redecorated my cotton bag from the Symposium.
Strangely enough, I never panic while drawing.

But those are not most days. Most days are free floating in a good way, too busy looking and drawing for panic. And then sometimes I get a message that somebody has purchased one of the Postcards from Far Away, giving me hope that I’ll actually have enough money to buy frames for the exhibition I’m going to participate in when I come back…
The Lake District fell by the wayside – the Hebrides just looked too good from Glasgow, and Wales too good from the Hebrides. I’ve started forgetting what day of the week it is, and sometimes what month of the year.
Places where I’ve spent at least one night so far:
- Lisbon
- Glasgow
- Oban
- Castlebay
- Daliburgh
- Flodigarry
- Portree
- Glencoe
- Liverpool
- Aberystwyth
- Llanderfel
- Dolgellau
- Llanmorlais
- London
Here is a rough map of those in Britain.

In the meantime I have reduced my stuff to one hand-luggage sized bag-pack, learned the meaning of a couple of new words (crofting, fuel poverty, dehumidifier), seen a beautiful painting by William Turner I didn’t know before in Liverpool, and saw a double rainbow over London.

Tomorrow I’m off to Paris!